ESRA UZEL 22.03.2014
OUTLINE:
Thesis statement:
There is a fine line
between the leader and boss that we can compare these two notions from
different angles.
BODY PARAGRAPHY 1:
TOPIC: entering for the leadership.
1.0: pioneer, innovation, variation
are related to the leadership.
2.0: the leader as an entrepreneur.
2.1: duty accompanied by the leader.
3.0: a new and helpful field in
leadership.
4.0: activating a job by doing a
right work.
5.0: “we” as a prior concept.
6.0: persuading the followers by
showing pros and cons.
7.0: being respectful and helpful.
8.0: the leader as an innovator.
9.0: working for success and
instilling it into followers.
BODY PARAGRAPHY 2:
TOPIC: entering for the boss.
1.0: authority, propulsion and rules
are related to the boss.
2.0: the boss as the one giving
orders.
3.0: managing own area and aiming at
directly doing tasks.
4.0: “I” as a prior concept.
5.0: commanding without regarding
pros and cons.
6.0: not being innovator.
7.0: remaining inside authority.
8.0: waiting for success from workers.
CONCLUSION PARAGRAPHY:
1: SUMMARIZING
2: (ADVİCE) My advice is that people
should forget about the ego and they should regard other’s opinion. So, many
complex situations can be solved easily in short time. I mean that try to be a
leader not a boss.
The Leader and Boss
Contrary to popular belief widely known, the leader and boss are quite
different two notions of each other that they are used wrongly interchangeably.
But, there is a fine line between them that we can compare these two notions
from different angles. So we can correct a misassumption that being known by
people.
Firstly, let’s consider the concept of leader. We must think about the
concepts of pioneer, innovation and variation when it is said the leadership.
We can expand these notions with examples. The leader is an entrepreneur for
his followers. If there is a duty which has to be done, it is accompanied by
the leadership of the leader. The leader transports his followers to a new and
helpful field instead of managing an area where he is. The leader activates any
job by doing a right work. “We” is a prior concept of the leader. He persuades
his followers by showing the advantages of work to be done instead of giving
orders blindly. He is respectful towards people and he advises people to be
helpful. He is the one who generates innovations using at his mind. He works
like an ant because he knows that success doesn’t come by chance and he instill
this method into his followers.
Secondly, let’s consider the concept of a boss. We must think about the
concepts of authority, propulsion and rule when it is said the management. The
boss is the one who gives orders for any duty instead of being an entrepreneur
for this duty. He manages an area where he is and he aims to do the tasks which
are given from the top authorities directly. Unlike the leader, the boss uses
the concept of “I” frequently. He commands his personnel to do any work without
taking into account the disadvantages of work. Rather than take a different or
new steps for any duty, he remains within the framework of rules. He doesn’t
use at his mind outside of authority. He waits for the arrival of success from
his personnel.
To sum up, the leader and boss are two notions that are separated by a
fine line from each other. While the leader leads for followers, the boss
commands only. The leader searches for the right, the boss doesn’t search
anything apart from authority, whereas. The leader takes basic in the notion of
“we” whereas the boss takes basic in the notion of “I”. The leader says “let’s
go” while the boss says “go”. My advice is that people should forget about the
ego and they should regard other’s opinion. So, many complex situations can be
solved easily in short time. I mean that try to be a leader not a boss.
1. Some articles are missing. 1. Contrary to (the) popular belief 2. the leader and (the)boss
YanıtlaSil2. Instead of "notion" , you may write "concept"
3. they are used wrongly interchangeably.(Paragraph 1,line 2) -> you need to have a conjunction between two adverbs. "and" would be fine
4. But,(Paragraph 1,line 3) there is a fine -> We generally use "but" to combine two sentences into one sentence.Therefore, using "however" or "in fact" seems better.
5. You should expand your thesis statement
6. Using expressions like "Let's" is not good in academic writing.
7. Using abbrevations like "doesn't" (paragraph 2, line 12 and paragraph 3, line 10) is not good in academic writing.
8. when it is said the management. (?) -> I could not understand what you meant there.
I could not continue reading that essay.Revise it, please
1) I may forget to write some articles , but I thought that it is not necessary to write "the" again because of "and" in the leader and boss.
YanıtlaSil2) I wanted to use synonym of concept by using "notion"
3)" wrongly" defines "interchangeably".
4) Can you tell me what I can write instead of "let's" it is a specific word which the leader says.
5) when it is said the management. I mean that If we consider the duty of boss ...
1-) You need to write the after "and" conjunctions as the meaning might change.Ex: [1) The red and the blue boxes are there. 2) The red and blue boxes are there.]
YanıtlaSil2-) "Notion" might be seen as a synonym of "concept". However, using notion there might change the meaning.
3-) "Wrongly" and "interchangeably" are adverbs. You cannot use the same word form without using conjunction.
4-) you cannot use anything there. That is why you should write another sentence instead of it.
5-) What you wrote does not mean what you wanted to say.
1) I did not understand differences between two sentence
YanıtlaSil5) I think my sentence is clear to understand .
1-) It is like saying the white and black cat(mixture of colors) and the white and the black cats ( two kinds of cats) I hope you understand it now.
YanıtlaSil5-) I think you need a preposition there or using another word would be just fine. Writing "when we talk about the management" makes more sense to me
1) you might say it in the beginning of your comments.
YanıtlaSil5) I ''ll take consider it.